Day 1, Week 1

So today is my official "weigh in" day that I designated.  I started yesterday at 239, and got on the scale this morning and weighed 238.5.  Yay!  :)  Considering I hadn't started WW yet, not too shabby.  :)

Today is my official first day of WW.  I skipped breakfast other than a cup of coffee and two little biscotti cookies.  Shame shame.  For lunch, though, I did well (courtesy of a trip to the grocery store):

Sarah's WW Turkey Sandwich

1 Pepperidge Farm Deli Flat (toasted)
1 WW Spreadable Cheese (jalapeno)
3-5 Slices Oscar Mayer Turkey
Romaine Lettuce
Sliced tomatoes

Toast the deli flat, spread the cheese, put on the veggies and turkey--voila!  Instant tasty lunch.  I paired mine with a side of fat free yogurt (Blackberry Pomegranate) and another cup of coffee!

For dinner tonight, we're having my version of the Biggest Loser chili.  We make this every winter, and it's a big hit!  I'll be having mine over a baked potato.

Doing it WW style...

After much deliberation and though, I am joining Weight Watchers for the last and final time.  I say that because I plan on never quitting or having to sign up again.

I have stopped and started WW many times, and it's frustrating.  I find my downfall is that I'll have one day where I binge eat, and don't write down what I eat, think I've failed and quit.  No more.

Hubby was pretty disapproving of me starting WW again, especially since money is tight right now.  I promised him (we shook on it) that I would do the initial 3 month sign up, and if I didn't stick with it, I'd quit.  In return, he has to be supportive of me once I start!  He's not the best with promoting healthy eating/living.

So, be on the lookout for many more posts, I promise!  I'm not sure when I'll sign up for good--we're snowed in and I need to get groceries.

Seriously?

Seriously.

How many times am I going to start and stop.  Start and stop.

I have GOT to get back on the wagon and NEVER fall off again!  This is just depressing now!  I was doing so well, and now I've gained back the weight I had gotten off, and I feel like dirt.  Being lazy has no advantages!

I'll take any and all motivation, kind words, harsh words, etc at this point.  I've got to make a turnaround soon...or else!  I know I can do this, I've done it before.  I just really have to be tough with myself and quit making excuses!  My favorites are:  I don't have time, I'm tired, I'm starving, I deserve a treat, just one won't hurt...and my favorite:  screw it!

Corporate Fitness

I went to an in-service on Thursday at work regarding our new partnership with Team Adrenaline fitness.  It's an interesting concept...

Basically, we will work out as a group twice a week.  The other days of the week, we're on our own.  They have a personal trainer who will be working with us, and then a nutritionist/dietitian(?) MD who will be helping us plan our meals.  She said a few things that resonated with me this week.  She said we should eat to live, and fuel our bodies.  That doesn't mean that you can't have the good stuff, just in moderation.  I know this isn't a new concept, at least not to me, but it makes me happy to hear.  I hate fad diets.  They also talked a lot about the 7 elements of fitness.  I can't remember them all, and I lost my notes I took, but basically, there are 7 elements, and it's nearly impossible to be perfect at every single one.  Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.  There's power, balance, flexibility, cardiovascular strength, etc.  When you join a gym, you stick with what you're comfortable with--say it's the treadmill.  If you're flexible, you're probably going to go to a yoga class, and not much else.  That's definitely me...I get comfortable doing one or two things, and I won't branch out to try something else.  Or I will try, but decide I don't like not being comfortable.  The trainer discussed with us that they will continuously take us out of our comfort zone.  Good good.  But, again, where's the person who's going to make me work out the other 5 days of the week?  :)

Anyway, I'm going to the trial class on Thursday.  It's an hour long, outside.  Should be interesting!  My employer is paying for half of these sessions for everyone, and working with our schedules.  It's a 14 week program, which takes us through the holidays.  The nice thing is that I can't always work out on a Tuesday or Thursday after work because of Troy's schedule, but I can join the group at other corporate sites during the week, or at the Y on Saturdays.  Nice.  They have also set it up for payroll deduction, which is nice. 

www.adrenalinesportsusa.com

Failure

Failure is not an option.

In my case, it really isn't an option, it's a given.  I'm one of those people who starts to slack off, or "fail" and then I shrug my shoulders and decide to fail even harder.  Meaning...eat one "bad" thing, then decide to just go ape, if you will, and power through a lunch at McDonald's, with cookies.  Did I feel like crap, physically, afterward?  I sure did.  Mentally, definitely.  But in that moment, it felt good...like a release to binge on what I wanted.  I know that it's not considered fuel for my body, and that it'll make me feel like crap afterward, but the taste is what I aim for.

That being said, I haven't worked out since the beginning of last week.  It's a shame too, because I was eating very healthy at work, and I really could've powered the two together to make a difference.

Am I too hard on myself?  I don't think I'm hard enough on myself.  If I were, maybe I would have the motivation to carry through with what I set forth to do.  I need like a personal drill sargent to scream at me at 4 am and tell me to get out of bed to go run or do cardio.  I need someone to sit on my should and play devil's advocate about what I'm going to put in my mouth.

Failure.  Fai-lure.  Lure.  You fail because you're lured into things you shouldn't have.  You're lured into continuing to sit on the couch.

Accountability

Toying with the idea of making my daily food intake public on here...I need you all to hold me accountable for my bad decisions.  If I'm going to do it though, I really have to do it--no slacking off!  No hiding every little bad thing I eat...double cheeseburger here, apple pie ala mode there.

I did fairly good today, it was my first day back at work.  I had oatmeal for breakfast, a fiber bar for snack (yum!), a homemade chicken wrap, light yogurt and sugar free pudding for lunch.  Lots of water (and coffee, shame)...and then Chef Boyardee ravioli for dinner.  Not the best, but quick and easy after the first day back.

Tomorrow, my work is offering an in-service with a nutritionist and a personal trainer.  They're going to be doing two sessions a week....but that's all the info they've given us.  I'm definitely going, as I get paid for the 45 minutes I'll be listening to them talk about healthy choices.

Part of being healthy, I suppose, is getting plenty of sleep.  And since I have a  baby girl who will be getting up at 3am, I should head to bed myself. 

I Blew It

Yup, I slacked off yesterday.  I have a ton of excuses too--lack of sleep, too much to do, snuggle time with the baby.  Bottom line is, I pooped out, and I really don't have any excuse.  It takes 20-30 minutes to get a workout in, and I spent 12+ hours yesterday doing anything but that.

Instead of beating myself up over it, I'm making a fresh start today, and getting back on the horse, so to speak.  I'll get my workout in today, one way or another.  Today is also my last day of maternity leave.  I'll spare  you the whining, which is sure to happen at some point today.

I ate ok yesterday...but dinner was a different story.  Considering I'm still breastfeeding/pumping, I'm not going to beat myself up over it.  If we had gone out and gotten fast food or something, then I could be upset about that.  I think things will be easier once I go back to work--I take my lunch, and will only have what I brought to eat.  Much easier to control snacking!  I do get nervous about being hungry all day, but I think I did good with planning out snacks and stuff to take to keep me satisfied during the day.  I'm going to cook some chicken today to make wraps to take to work, so that should be tasty.  Going to load them up with lettuce and a bit of cheese.

Any other healthy work food suggestions?  Quick and easy, but filling and tasty??

Jillian Michaels

Thanks, Jillian, for handing me yet another butt whoopin' today.  The sad thing is, that when I'm done with the workout (30 Day Shred), I feel like it shouldn't be so hard.  It's nothing but a bunch of jumping jacks, sit ups and push ups, right?  But wow...I feel stronger.  I suppose that's the purpose.

However, I contradict that work out by eating pot-pie for lunch.  I haven't had a chance to get to the grocery store, and it's slim pickin's around here.  A frozen pot-pie?  Easy and tasty.  High in fat, for sure.  But it's justified because Jillian yelled at me, right?

Back To The Beginning

So here I am, back to a a new beginning.  Last year, I lost 60 pounds.  I was on my way to a kicking body, and finally feeling great about myself again.  I ran my first race in November, and the next weekend, found out I was pregnant!  Fast forward 10 months...and here I am with a newborn, and massive weight gain.

I am 100 pounds overweight.

Granted, I don't need to lose exactly 100, but that's a pretty astonishing number to look at.  Couple that with being exhausted (a side effect of the newborn and two year old), out of shape, and mentally run down, I'm not doing so great in the eating healthy/exercising department.  I start back to work in two days, and I fear that I'll be even less likely to exercise.

So, my hope is that with the start of this blog, and getting some followers, I'll keep up my workouts and inspire some people along the way.  One can hope, right?