Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Transformation Tuesday

This isn't exactly the kind of Transformation Tuesday that everyone expects, but it's the kind I wanted to do tonight.  My goal is over the coming weeks and months to have some progress to show...but for now...

This is a picture of me midway through my hospital stay a little over two years ago.  Thank you, pulmonary emboli and undiagnosed Factor V Leiden.  I would love to say that physically I've come a long way from this photo, but I really haven't.  I mean, I can speak a whole sentence without having to pause for air, and I can walk without being short of breath (sometimes).  Mentally, I'm still a little messed up.  Every little pain I get in my lungs, I jump to the conclusion that it's happening again.  A random pang in my calf?  I must have a clot in my leg.  Headache?  Stroke.  There is no blissful, carefree living, really.  It could be so much worse, but I'm constantly second guessing everything.  If I bump into something, I know I'll have a ginormous bruise the next day, or even hours later.

However, to the opposite end of that, I know that life is short.  I know that my little bit of time here on Earth is fleeting.  If I don't do something NOW to keep my body in somewhat decent shape, it will fail me.  I mean, I'm walking around with a greater chance of something happening to me, so sitting around and collecting more weight isn't  helping things.  Months ago my hematologist told me that my biggest risk factor for throwing a new clot is my weight.  What's the ONE and ONLY thing I can change about my risk for clots?  Losing some weight.  So yeah, I might get obnoxious with all this gym stuff and healthy eating stuff, but I figure I need to make it work however I can.  I've taken pretty bad care of myself for years now, and it's showing.

In the meantime, how cute were these kids back then?  :)

1 comment:

  1. I love your attitude! I agree, we have so much to live for, I admire what you've overcome (wow!) and your determination to improve!!! High five!.. And yes, suuuuper cute babies!