Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Transformation Tuesday

This isn't exactly the kind of Transformation Tuesday that everyone expects, but it's the kind I wanted to do tonight.  My goal is over the coming weeks and months to have some progress to show...but for now...



This is a picture of me midway through my hospital stay a little over two years ago.  Thank you, pulmonary emboli and undiagnosed Factor V Leiden.  I would love to say that physically I've come a long way from this photo, but I really haven't.  I mean, I can speak a whole sentence without having to pause for air, and I can walk without being short of breath (sometimes).  Mentally, I'm still a little messed up.  Every little pain I get in my lungs, I jump to the conclusion that it's happening again.  A random pang in my calf?  I must have a clot in my leg.  Headache?  Stroke.  There is no blissful, carefree living, really.  It could be so much worse, but I'm constantly second guessing everything.  If I bump into something, I know I'll have a ginormous bruise the next day, or even hours later.

However, to the opposite end of that, I know that life is short.  I know that my little bit of time here on Earth is fleeting.  If I don't do something NOW to keep my body in somewhat decent shape, it will fail me.  I mean, I'm walking around with a greater chance of something happening to me, so sitting around and collecting more weight isn't  helping things.  Months ago my hematologist told me that my biggest risk factor for throwing a new clot is my weight.  What's the ONE and ONLY thing I can change about my risk for clots?  Losing some weight.  So yeah, I might get obnoxious with all this gym stuff and healthy eating stuff, but I figure I need to make it work however I can.  I've taken pretty bad care of myself for years now, and it's showing.

In the meantime, how cute were these kids back then?  :)



Monday, December 9, 2013

Back to Basics

I had a really REALLY hard time getting out of bed this morning.  I didn't feel good, it was raining, I was tired, etc.  The list goes on and on and on.  So, instead of getting over myself and getting up to go to the gym, I tried to sleep in.  I felt guilty about it all day.  I felt like crap today at work.  I did contain my eating even though my instinct when I'm feeling bad is to stuff my face full of food.  I even powered through a mini-panic attack without loading my gullet with cookies and candy.  That's HUGE for me!

I did NOT want to go to the gym tonight.  It's cold and rainy.  I made myself do it.  I wasn't going to take a class tonight.  I made myself do it.  It was something new, and a dance class (choreography and I don't mix, thanks CAPD!) but it was a good workout.  A lady I chatted with last week at the Build and Burn class was there again and was very friendly.  It's nice to have a partner in sweat at the gym.  :)  I should have stayed and did arm weights, but I think they got a sufficient workout.

Goals for this week:

Continue to eat clean
Drink MORE water!
Continue my love for the gym
STAY POSITIVE!

All the other stuff is butter if I'm following number 4 on the list.  What are your goals for the week?

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Grumpy Days

I pigged out on processed junk Friday night and earned myself a sudden, horrible migraine.  Ended up at our local urgent care and got a combo shot of Phenergan/Demerol in my rear.  Of course it knocked me and the migraine out (yay!), but it also made me drowsy for the entire next 24 hours, which I wasn't planning on.

Yesterday I spent most of the day in and out of sleep.  When I wasn't sleeping, I was eating.  Eating LOTS of contraband stuff:  pizza, sandwiches, cookies, candy, etc.  Horrible!  But you know what?  I was happy that I woke up this morning feeling much better and ready to get back on track.  Made breakfast for the girls (scrambled eggs and fruit) and sunny side up eggs with sesame bread for me.

I'd love to get back to the gym today, but we are getting some nasty weather right now--ice and freezing rain.  YUCK!  Maybe a little bit later today, I'll have a chance to sneak out and get some cardio and strength training in.



In case anyone was wondering, here is my "plan":

Diet:
I eat "clean".  Nothing processed, nothing unnatural.  That means no artificial sweeteners, no preservatives, nothing on ingredient lists that I've never seen or heard of.  Lots of fruits and veggies, lean protein and complex carbs.  Now, that doesn't mean that I eat clean perfectly, as I'm still learning, but it's a process.  On the days I follow my plan closely I feel 100% better than when I eat processed.  I NEVER thought I would be one of "those" people who eats this way and says food makes a difference, but here I am.  I don't starve, I'm rarely hungry after meals.  I eat MANY small meals a day.  Cravings for most junk foods are gone.  It's not an overnight thing, it definitely takes work.  I do meal prep on Sunday afternoon/evening.  Failing to plan for the week will end in eating failure for me, so I make sure I have everything ready to go.  I also make sure I'm drinking a TON of water throughout the day, especially when I've worked out.

Exercise:
I do thirty minutes of cardio and thirty minutes of weight lifting for three days, then one day of "active" recovery.  I try to change it up so it doesn't become a chore.  One day I might do just a straight 30 minutes on the stationary bike with 30 minutes of circuit training.  My favorite (love/hate) class right now is American Family's Build and Burn, which incorporates weight lifting with cardio.  It kicks my butt, but gets everything in that I need in an hour.  Being in a class like that keeps me accountable, and I'm less likely to wimp out.

So far, I've lost 12 pounds and 4 inches (in my waist).   I'm expecting the weight to start to taper, especially as I continue the weight training.  We all know that muscle weighs more than fat, so while I might actually be losing weight, I'm gaining some muscle and I'm STOKED about that!  That's why I'm keeping track of my waist size.  A little extra motivation.  :)

I'm very new to all of this, but if you have any questions, please ask!