This is a picture of me midway through my hospital stay a little over two years ago. Thank you, pulmonary emboli and undiagnosed Factor V Leiden. I would love to say that physically I've come a long way from this photo, but I really haven't. I mean, I can speak a whole sentence without having to pause for air, and I can walk without being short of breath (sometimes). Mentally, I'm still a little messed up. Every little pain I get in my lungs, I jump to the conclusion that it's happening again. A random pang in my calf? I must have a clot in my leg. Headache? Stroke. There is no blissful, carefree living, really. It could be so much worse, but I'm constantly second guessing everything. If I bump into something, I know I'll have a ginormous bruise the next day, or even hours later.
However, to the opposite end of that, I know that life is short. I know that my little bit of time here on Earth is fleeting. If I don't do something NOW to keep my body in somewhat decent shape, it will fail me. I mean, I'm walking around with a greater chance of something happening to me, so sitting around and collecting more weight isn't helping things. Months ago my hematologist told me that my biggest risk factor for throwing a new clot is my weight. What's the ONE and ONLY thing I can change about my risk for clots? Losing some weight. So yeah, I might get obnoxious with all this gym stuff and healthy eating stuff, but I figure I need to make it work however I can. I've taken pretty bad care of myself for years now, and it's showing.
In the meantime, how cute were these kids back then? :)
I love your attitude! I agree, we have so much to live for, I admire what you've overcome (wow!) and your determination to improve!!! High five!.. And yes, suuuuper cute babies!
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